Small Faith

This last month I have been learning to be patient... which I might add is something that I am most terrible with. It ranks up there with being slow to speak and quick to listen. God has been molding my heart and forming in me a desire to learn these things anew but oh how I do worry sometimes if I 'm learning anything at all! I've realized that I need to take my time captive just as I am to take my thoughts captive and make sure that I use my time wisely. I also struggle with worry about if my hand will ever get better. Others say they see small improvements but I just don't see them. Dear God please give me the faith to see and the courage to believe in your promises. I am often tempted to fear and worry over so many things when I should be looking upward at the Cross and what God has done, not looking at outward circumstances and worry that these things will not change. Heavenly Father please strengthen and grow my faith.

God's Faithfulness Endures

These last few months have been full of trials and temptation to worry but I have been truly overwhelmed by God's faithfulness in it all. I had surgery almost two weeks ago to remove what they discovered was a neurofibroma in my left shoulder. The surgery itself was not a surprise but how quickly they squeezed me in was. I only had one week to prepare before surgery! God has been so good through out the whole process though, and I have been able to take a leave of absence and I get disability pay over the time period of my recovery which turned out to be six weeks! Praise God for His faithfulness. After the surgery I lost some function in my left hand and so I will be doing some physical therapy to hopefully restore some of that function.

I rode a horse today which made me feel so much better. A few days ago I had a mini breakdown because I was trying without success to put my hair into a pony tail by myself and I couldn't. I burst into tears and it was very hard, but thank goodness for my momma. She has been my angel these last few weeks, helping me with everything from showering to putting my hair in a pony tail. : - ) I guess God is teaching me to rely on Him and not on myself, which is something I have been prone to do a lot. And I mean A LOT. Well, I must go to bed so I can get up for church at a reasonable time. Blessings and smiles to all of those who read this. ( I don't actually know if anyone does, as of my lack of postings.)

It Looks like a long road ahead

These past few weeks have been somewhat draining and I just wish I could get some answers today. : - ) However, God is good and He is teaching me patience in this waiting period. I have a biopsy this friday of the problem lymph node and then a week from thursday I meet again with Dr. Frenette to find out what is the problem. After this friday I have big weekend plans... NOTHING. I don't have work or anything major to do so I plan on sleeping in and just relaxing around the house.

I've been reading The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment and it has really helped with my peace of mind and trust in God during this season. Even my co-workers have noticed that even though I am going through a difficult time that there is something different with my heart. My boss said that she noticed what a strong "sense of self" I had, as she put it. She said that even though I am going through this that I seem very at peace with it. I told her that it's what God has for me right now. Please pray that God would open up more opportunities for me to share my faith and that if anything else, the way I walk through these trials would be an example to my co-workers. Blessing and love ~ Julie

Update

So for all of you who don't know I have been having some problems with my shoulder for the past year/year and a half. So I went to an ortho surgeron and he scheduled me for a MRI of my shoulder to get a better look at what's going on. I got a call from my doctors office later on that day asking em if I could come in later so I thought, "hey, why not" but did find it a little odd that all of the sudden the office has an opening when they had previously been booked for a month... that really should have clued me in. When I talked to my doctor he said that my shoulder is fine (great) but there was a mass showing up on the scan that shouldn't be there (not so great).

So I went to an oncologist last wednesday and they scheduled me for more tests including one yesterday where I got injected with radioactive stuff and got to take the "I don't care" pill Xanex. I really liked that Xanex stuff because you REALLY don't care about anything. It mellowed me out and I was like that the whole day. They did however tell me that I was not to operate heavy machinery, sign any important legal documents or accept any marriage proposals (sorry boys). Tomorrow I meet again with the oncologist to see what the PET/CT scans , and blood work said. Any prayers would be appreciated! Peace out.

Welcome to my Blog

So, in light of recent events and also a long habit of reading the blogs of others I have decieded to once again "take the plunge" and try to blog about the happenings of my life. For whoever may be reading this, I will try to keep it as updated as possible. As of right now I am just working at Starbucks, which I love and I am actively involved in my church. Looking back a year ago, I could have never imagined what God has done and how much I have grown and how much has changed, for His glory and my good. Stay tuned!